Cleaning up my Act

"Use your napkin, not your shirt!" those words are repeated in my household several times a day.

As the familiar phrase slid past my lips I slid a napkin across the table to my five-year-old.  It was a well rehearsed routine.  The same words and same actions repeated at least three times a day for 4 years now.  At times I really wonder if Corban will go off to college still wiping his mouth on his shirt sleeve and wiping his hands on his shirt front.

The end of the meal drew near and I glanced at my son.  Once again his shirt was smeared beyond repair and the napkin remained in pristine condition.  Will he ever get it?


I dream of the day when Corban reaches over, takes that napkin and ACTUALLY USES IT for something besides a coaster.  I am quite certain that at some point I am going to look up from my meal and see my son sitting there with a clean shirt, face, and hands--- and a dirty napkin.  One day.

And so it is with myself.  There are things in my life that God has been dealing with me about day after day, year after year.  I begin to mentally check off the areas in my life that I know need attention and habits that I know need to be broken.  And as I get ready to launch into 2014 I am determined to pick up my personal "napkin" and get rid of some of the mess in my life.  I am determined to heed the gentle reminder of the Holy Ghost in my life and clean up areas that have long needed it.

I am so thankful that unlike myself God does not tire of reminding and correcting me.  He is ever patient, slow to anger, and full of grace.

In dealing with my children, I desire to be like Him.  In dealing with myself, I desire to heed His voice.

Lord, as I face this new year, I pray that your Holy Spirit would lead and guide me.  That I may be kind and patient, slow to anger and full of grace with my children.  That I would hear and obey your voice quickly and make needed changes in my life that will bring honor and glory to your name.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Shivering right down to my bones

For those of you who think Guatemala is always a warm, tropical climate I have news for you.  Yesterday when I woke up at 6am the outside thermometer marked 45 degrees Fahrenheit.  And we don't have heat!  That is cold in anybody's book.  As I snuggled down further into my electric blanket and thanked God for my PVC windows which keep the wind at bay and most of the cold out (it was 58 degrees inside) I couldn't help but think of the many families I know who live within rattly tin walls where the wind whips through every crack and crevice. 

Later that day I had the opportunity to visit one of the families who regularly attend the feeding center. Bundled up in my turtleneck sweater and with a warm fleecie layered on top Yolanda and I traversed several blocks to their home.  When we arrived our ears were burning and our noses were red but our bodies felt warm from the exercise.  The blanket hung up over an opening in the tiny dwelling and serving as a door was thrown to one side and a passel of youngsters flung themselves joyfully at us.  It was a tangle of dirty faces, disheveled hair, bare arms, runny noses, and great big grins. 

My heart broke as I took in the scene before me.  One or two ported a threadbare sweater but most were in short sleeves.  No wonder they spend days like this in the bed under the blankets. 

It made me realize that the ABA feeding center needs to do more than just offer a meal or two.  These families have needs that go much deeper.  So let's begin praying even now for next year.  Let's put our faith out there to be able to give a warm sweater or jacket to each child in the program during 2014.  Together we can!!!!

The Right Choice

Corban excited to be dressed as a bird

On Friday I sat in a small auditorium waiting anxiously for the curtains to part.  My insides were all a flutter with excitement, nostalgia, and other unidentified feelings.  Today was my 5-year-old's pre-school closing ceremony.

The years have flown by too quickly.  In January it is off to Kindergarten and a whole new world.

I remember when I found out we were expecting our first child.  Besides being excited I was also overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed at the thought of trying to fit motherhood into an already over-packed schedule.  Overwhelmed at the thought of such responsibility.  Overwhelmed at trying to hold down a full-time job and raise a child- all with no childcare.  It was daunting to think of running around with mission teams, keeping up with (at the time) four outreaches a week, keep all the accounting and admin up to date, do all the fundraising, and DO IT ALL with a baby in tow.

I remember praying for guidance.  I remember seeking the counsel of many people in ministry that I admire.  What should I do?  How could I do it all?  The firm conviction that CrossCulture Jesus / Brazos Abiertos should continue to reach out to the community seemed to clash with the firm conviction that I should be the primary caregiver of our children and not a daycare center.  What was the right answer.

After much prayer and counsel it was decided.  I would pray for the Lord to bring the right people at the right time to Brazos Abiertos.  A team of people who had a heart for the ministry, a heart for the families, who were honest, integrable, and hard working.

So my husband and I started praying.

Through the years some workers came and others went but Yolanda, Alfonso, and Chrissy were the steady three that the LORD brought to see us through a season.  Yolanda, Alfonso, and Chrissy gave their all and more.  I was so blessed to have such a team working with me that served the Lord in such a way that the ministry grew and prospered even during my times of semi-absence and working from home.  The Lord also brought Mirian to us - a sweet woman who helps with childcare part-time making those times I was needed on-site all the easier.

There were many times I struggled with the decision we made.  Others have been on the front lines, one on one with the children and their families while I have been somewhat in the background dedicating myself to the administrative side.  Even so, there has always been more work than time and there were definitely times when I wondered if making my children my priority would cause the ministry to suffer. 

But as I sat in the auditorium on Friday watching my enthusiastic boy perform his best, I knew deep in my heart that I had made the right choice.

I can see how God has honored the choice I made.  CCJ has not suffered, in fact, it has grown as a result of the team members God Himself placed there.  My family has not suffered, in fact, they have blossomed and grown. 

Childhood passes all too quickly.  I truly thank God for bringing the right people at the right time to CCJ allowing me to be able to be a very present mother to Corban.  I pray for patience to wait out the end of this season as I still have a few more years before Cohen is in kindergarten.  And although this year brought the end to my stable three (Alfonso and Chrissy moving on) I trust that the Lord is already moving to bring on board others with the same heart.

watch out Hollywood- we have a natural!

With his teacher getting his diploma.  A pre-school graduate!

A proud mama and her boy

Check-ups all around!

Wednesday was a day long awaited.

It was the second visit from the nutritionist who is volunteering his services to help the ABA feeding center.

The nutrionist

A list of children had been made up to see the nutritionist, some of them being first timers, waiting for their check-up so that they could join the program.

Wednesday started out bright and sunny.  My own morning was hurried with lots to do.  Getting Corban up and out of the door by 7:15 then getting Cohen and I ready to leave by 8:15.  Add potty-training to the mix and you can imagine all the fun I had before even 9am. 

Still, the day proved to be a successful day. 

just a portion of the food stuffs that the nutritionist brought to help the neediest families

 

 

All of the families were grateful for the progress report and the donations given.  We are so pleased to announce that progress was indeed noted after just the first 2 months.  In fact, in a couple of the families there was a VERY notable difference in height and weight! 

a couple of families being interviewed before the stats were taken

Our staff has worked hard to make sure the children are receiving nutritious meals that are varied and appealing.  The nutritionist reviewed the menus we have been giving and congratulated us on well-balanced meals!!!

Yolanda- the principal person responsible for the menus

My toddler, at least one little boy who didn't need any supplements!

As this dream unfolds, I know it would not be possible without the dedication of our staff and the generous support of so many who give sacrificially.  I give thanks to God for all of you!  I have seen such a positive response from both from long time supporters as well as from new ones.  Because of this outpouring of love we will be able to service 15 more children!  Glory to God.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and  you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me...... Mathew 25:35-36a

THANK YOU

Not Convenient

It is not convenient to get a phone call from school telling me my 5 year old has a fever.  It is not convenient to keep him home for several days, having him underfoot and cranky when I have  a lot of work to do. 

It was not convenient when my toddler was getting molars and cried to be held ALL DAY LONG.

Walking the floors for hours with a colicky baby, having to change your clothes after being spit up on for the umpteenth time, changing a dirty diaper just before you walk out the door for church (already running late)- these things are not convenient.  Cleaning up a potty training accident while supper boils over is not convenient.  Having toys scattered across the living room right before company comes is not convenient.  Sitting up all night with a sick child knowing that you have real life waiting for you the next morning is not convenient.

HAVING CHILDREN IS NOT CONVENIENT.  They don't do the things they should do when they should do them.  They take naps too late ruining their bedtimes.  They track mud across the floor right after you have mopped.  They want your attention right when you get a phone call.  They dump a well-cooked meal onto the floor because they wanted something else.  They want to play when you want to rest. 

No, having children might not be very convenient--- but the incomparable rewards make it all worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let´s Call Him "Eduardo"

I see him there every time I stop at the last intersection just before arriving at the airport.  His hands and arms are twisted.  He has learned the art of holding things between his two wrists which fold in towards each other.  As he passes close by my car with a cup clasped tightly between his two wrists I keep my window rolled up and I turn my head away.

It isn't that I am unfeeling.  Quite the contrary.  My feelings go very deep, I am simply guarding his dignity.  His name isn't Eduardo, but let's call him that.  Eduardo is now in his mid-20's, but I remember when I met him as a pre-teen, uneducated, unbathed, living below the poverty level in a ghetto with fame as one of Guatemala city's most dangerous places.

At the time I was working in a feeding program which also offered tutorials and Bible classes.  Eduardo showed up unkempt and hungry with his step-siblings.   His arms and legs were twisted so badly that he had to eat with his face in the dish.  It was heart rendering to watch the other children mock him and even worse to know that he suffered abuse and ridicule at home.

The other teachers and I had compassion on Eduardo.  It was easy to overlook the stale smell of unwashed clothes and to look past the grimy face when we thought about the price that Jesus had paid for this precious child.

The director of the ministry began to knock on doors everywhere to find a solution.  At last, with the help of many generous sponsors and doctors, we were able to get Eduardo a series of surgeries to mostly correct his physical problems.  He learned to read AND TO WRITE.  He learned hygiene.  He was fed regularly.  And more importantly EDUARDO LEARNED THAT HE WAS LOVED.

But the fairy tale ended.  One day, before the series of surgeries was complete, Eduardo stopped coming.  His step-siblings shuffled their feet and dropped their eyes refusing to answer regarding his whereabouts.  His step mother had sent him to the stoplights to beg for money to help support the family.

I reach out to a different part of Guatemala now.  Still, year later, I can see Eduardo still begging for money at the stoplights.  Once I rolled my window down and cheerfully greeted him asking about his welfare and slipping him a granola bar.  He was clearly uncomfortable.  He knew deep down that we had higher hopes for him than this.  Out of respect for his discomfort I have since left my tinted windows up and turned my face away pretending not to see...although I do see and my heart aches.

One of the hardest things to come to terms to in any ministry setting is that you will not always change every life you set out to.  It is a hard thing to understand that although sometimes we give it our all and more, ultimately WE cannot change anyone.

It is hurtful to see people we care about falling into the same sin time and time again, making the same mistakes over and over.  But the reality is that each individual makes the decision to allow God to change him/her or his/her circumstances or not.

It is discouraging to work so long, pray so hard, give so much and to know that even so MOST times we will not see the fruit of our efforts in this lifetime.

But then, even Jesus could only help those who accepted His help.  He can only save those who open their heart to Him.  Why should I be surprised that I am faced with the same limitation of the human will?

Unless you are prepared to accept this reality and keep on giving of yourself anyway then you are not ready for missions or ministry.

But there is another reality equally as important--- Eduardo is not a finished product.  Although I may not see it right now, I have all eternity to see what the seed that has been planted in him has produced!

And therein lies the element of faith.....

to blog or not to blog.....

Blogs are today's newsletters.  Blogging is fashionable.  Blogging is sooooo new millennium.

But these are not the reasons I write a blog.

I have been on the mission field for 15 consecutive years; 14 of those in Guatemala.  Although this doesn't make me an expert on every aspect of missions, it does give me a certain perspective that matures with time.

One thing I have learned in the past 15 years is that people are genuinely curious as to what an average day looks like for me (and other missionaries).  I am often asked, "what is life like in Guatemala?  What do you really DO?"  Although life for each missionary and on each mission field varies drastically, just as it does depending on which region of the United States you might hail from, I find that a blog is a wonderful way to answer the question regarding what mission life is like for ME.

In this blog I try to be as honest as possible.  Life itself, whether on the mission field or not, is not always pretty.  Although at times we get dirty in the trenches, by God's grace we are not only getting by, but we are living in Victory!  As I write I find I have more victories to share than defeats.  I find I have more joys to share than sorrows.  I find that life with Jesus is truly very sweet.

In this blog I attempt to make faces out of numbers.  When a missionary visits the churches that support him it is tempting to speak statistically.  After all, churches and supporters want to know that the money they sow is actually bearing fruit, and what better way to express that than with concrete numbers?  However, the people we minister to are more than numbers.  They have faces, feelings, stories to tell.  They are lives being touched and changed for eternity.... although sometimes we won't see these results until we are all together in Heaven.

Every missionary is unique; every organization is different.  I cannot pretend to speak on behalf of others.  I can only tell my own story and that of my family.  My situation is unique in that our family lives half a missionary lifestyle and half a civilian lifestyle.  In our case my husband in not a missionary.  He has the same job he had when we met, fell in love, and married.  His salary offers us a stability many other missionaries don't have and maybe don't want (because it also locks us into one place somewhat permanently).  We live on his salary, allowing us to use ministry finances for ministry expenses- an advantage your "average" (if there is such a thing) missionary can't do as they must also use finances for personal living expenses.

Our family has its own challenges as my children do not really fit in 100% with other missionary children, yet they don't fit in 100% with other Guatemalans, and most definitely they don't fit in 100% with Americans!  But so far this hasn't presented a problem.  My children say they are "Guatemalans" and "missionaries" with the same conviction as they would say they have blue eyes.  To them it is a mere description, not an identity as a whole.

So in this blog I humbly attempt to paint a picture of our life.  Half civilian.  Half missionary.  I attempt to show the reader what it could be like to walk in my shoes.  I throw in a little bit of ministry life, a dash of motherhood, a pinch of fundraising, and swirl it all together.  I am encouraged to know how many of you identify with my struggles and successes in whatever realm I am writing about.  It is good to know that no matter where we are geographically or spiritually our God is the same God.  His promises are the same for you and for me.  We face similar challenges and find our answers in the same place- God's Word.

I encourage you to join me in this adventure we all call life...

family picture taken last February- but the most recent one I have

Always an Adventure!

September in Guatemala is the rainiest season of the entire year.  Although at any given time through out the rainy season the weather can turn drastic, with rain pouring in sheets for days on end causing any number of catastrophes, in September it is worse.  Day after day the rain pummels down against the window panes.  Day after day of gray skies and muddy ground.  The clothes begin to mildew in the closets.  Mold pops up on the walls and around the window frames.  I begin to despair of ever seeing the sun again...

But eventually the sun does come out.  The ground dries.  The sky is a brilliant blue and the sun burns mercilessly down upon us making us wonder why we ever missed it in the first place.

Seasons change.

Each season is necessary.  Each season brings exactly what is needed to cause growth to prosper.

In CrossCulture Jesus (or Brazos Abiertos as we are known in Guatemala) we are at a time of changing seasons.  We have undergone tremendous growth as a result of God's grace and favor being poured down.  Now, as we enter another season, we are praying for more laborers to join us in order to sustain this growth.

Jesus said the harvest is ripe- and so it is!  We see a fruitful harvest in all that we do!  Jesus also said the laborers are few- and so they are.  However He instructed us to pray for the Lord of the harvest to send laborers- and so we do.

Every day here is a new adventure.  All you have to do is scroll through past blog entries to see that no two days are alike.  Whether hiking to a distant orphanage or wading through muddy paths to reach a poor family´s home we do it joyfully.  Some days are spent excitedly planning an outreach and other days are spent under the hot sun teaching multitudes.  We have made lifetime friends in many communities and around the world.  We have seen families come to Christ.  We have seen God move in mighty ways to meet the needs of local families.  IT IS ALWAYS AN ADVENTURE.

What can you do to be involved in this adventure?

1. Pray with us.  Make a commitment to pray for laborers to join our staff
2. Make a 6 month to 1 year commitment to join our staff yourself (raising your own financial support)
3. Send finances to support a local staff member's salary
4. Pass this information on to as many friends, churches, youth groups, and Bible schools as you can.

Contact us and let us know how the Lord is leading you to partner with us in this effort to see our ministry fully staffed in 2014.

sarah@crossculturejesus.org

God's Protection

 Yesterday we celebrated Día del Niño (National day of the child) and what a celebration it was!  The theme was all about God's protection over our lives, comparing it to how a sea shell protects the marine life within.

At one point I stood back, amazed, at how the Little Giants Bible Club has grown.  Over the past 6 years we have gone from 20 children meeting under a small roofed area in someone's back yard to over 130 children in 3 meetings per week.

Yesterday we had 115 children gathered for the celebration.

Our staff of Yolanda, Chrissy, Kimberly, and Abigail were hard at work for weeks preparing for the event.  We were blessed to have the help of 4 volunteers from the church Psalms 150 come to help out.  Unfortunately, I was unable to get a picture of everyone together as I would have liked.

The kids were eager to start.

Pastora Ana from the church Psalm 150 got the event started off with high energy.  She is an energetic little lady whose energy and happiness spill over onto others.

 

Then followed the games led by Abi and Kimberly

 

and a time of praise and worship lead by Yoli and our team of staff and volunteers

the children were lead in a precious time with the Lord

 

 

The memory verse came next which Chrissy reinforced with a game.

 

The Bible story was told in drama fashion.  The story of God's protection over the people of Israel as they left Egypt came alive for all 115 children who were held captive.

Moses

The people of Israel

The parting of the red sea was an awesome moment.  Due to the ingenuity of our volunteers the sea actually parted!!!!

craft time was next

Then the long awaited snack time.  Unfortunately for Corban and me, it was time for us to go.  One of the downfalls of still having a small child at home- the babysitter cannot stay but so late due to transportation issues (and the fact that she commutes over 2 hours each way).  Our time was up.  We asked for our hotdogs, chips, and cake to go.  Corban bemoaned the fact that we couldn't stay until the end.  I felt badly leaving everyone else with the snack, gift, and clean-up.  But this is the season of my life right now :)

three donated cakes

a sneak-preview of the gift given to each child.

 

We are immensely grateful: to those who generously gave towards this event, without you there would have been no celebration.  To the volunteers from the church Psalm 150 who gave selflessly of their time and energy and to the staff of Brazos Abiertos who worked hard to organize and carry-out the event.  Each of you had a vital role in making this celebration a success.  May God bless you abundantly!

Visitors make us smile

LaVerne loving on some of our girls

You know what it is like when company is coming.  Especially a long awaited guest.  You can't wait to show off your home and family.  The days seem to inch along and the clock never seems to budge as you count down until arrival time.  But somehow the wait makes the visit all the more sweeter...

It is the same with us at CCJ/ABA.  When company comes we are beside ourselves with anticipation.  Last week's visitor was especially long awaited... and especially sweet!  LaVerne has been in contact with us for several years always promising to visit.  The seconds ticked by on the clock.  The days on the calendar never seemed to change.  We waited and waited with sweet anticipation the arrival of our dear friend.  And at long last she was here!

LaVerne brought with her a suitcase full of donations she had collected.  These donations came right on time but then, God always supplies our needs right on time so I shouldn't have been surprised.  She observed our classes, she mingled with our staff, she brought a smile to our face, and her heart was joined with ours.

beginning the class with worship

I love to host guests and show off proudly what God has been doing in this town.  I am eager for them to see first hand the joy with which the children RUN to the Bible Clubs.  I want them to experience the move of God that is taking place here; to SEE and KNOW the difference their prayers, finances, donations, and friendship have been making in countless lives.

So LaVerne came.  She partook of the goodness of the Lord with us.  She left with a clearer understanding of what we do and why we do it.  She left with a deeper knowing of the part she has played in it all.  And she left us anxiously awaiting her next visit...

the boys having fun with some choreographed praise

5 year old taking care of 1 year old sister- a common occurrance

LaVerne sharing with some of the kids, again a brother taking care of his toddler sister

a special time of sharing with the team- celebrating Abi's birthday

Just imagine

Just imagine for a moment... imagine you are waking up to the early morning light seeping into your tiny home under and around the dirty, musty blanket that serves as a makeshift door.  You can hear the scuttle of nearby cats, dogs, rats, and other animals as they, too, begin to yawn, stretch, and begin their day.  You are trying to stretch your aching bones too, after sleeping in a cramped bed on a lumpy, moldy mattress with 2 or 3 siblings.

The tiny room that you call home is about 14 feet by 14 feet and filled with 2 double beds, a few broken chairs, and several overflowing dressers.  The walls are made of cold cinder block and roof is made of tin which cooks the small room during the heat of the day and reverberates with every rain drop during the rain.

You must be careful as you step out of bed.  The dirt floor is filled with potholes dug out by dogs and cats as they search for a bed of their own.  With a wide yawn from too little sleep you begin your day- the aching bones now forgotten as the gnawing in your stomach becomes ferocious.  There was no dinner the night before and you are pretty sure there will not be much for breakfast today.  Your mother is cranky from lack of sleep and a good meal too.  She brusquely reminds you to hurry off to school with promises of a warm tortilla with salt for lunch when you return.  So you gather up your school things, try to straighten the dirty clothes you slept in and make them presentable for at least one more day, and slip your sockless feet into a pair of shoes with broken laces and a floppy sole before you slip through the curtain you call a door.

This is no imaginary game for so many children that we see on a daily basis.  But with just $5/month YOU can change the ending to this story.  YOU can make it possible for a child to end his/her school day with the promise of a healthy, filling lunch at our new feeding program.

You can be a part of changing a look of desperation

 

into a look of hope....

The children bound up the stairs of our ministry base, leaving their dishes in the kitchen to be filled while they spend 20 minutes or so having fun with one of our teachers.  Each week we teach a Bible truth in a different and creative way.  Each week the children's souls are nourished as well as their bodies.

Abigail with the children

It is a race to see if the kitchen staff can finish before the class is done.

Venancia filling plates

Chrissy filling water bottles with Jamaican Rose tea

Once the class is over the children race hungrily down to pick up their full dishes before they rush off home.  The hallway is filled with giggles and glee as at least THIS day they can go to bed with full tummies.

We have a waiting list of at least 30 more children who want to come.  Please pray about how you can get involved.
Perhaps your Sunday school class, youth group, or ladies' group would like to sponsor one or more children.
Perhaps you want to organize a trip and come help in person.
Perhaps you know of some young person who would like to spend a few months with us.

Perhaps you could pray and join your faith with ours.
Perhaps you could pass this blog along to others.
The Lord will show you what you can do if you just ask Him.

Feel free to contact me for more information: sarah@crossculturejesus.org