Standing with Arms Raised

"So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.  As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning , but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning, When Moses´ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it.  Aaron and Hur held his hands up- one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained steadily till sunset.  So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword." (Ex. 17:10-13)

There has come a time in my life when my hands have grown tired.  The battle has been long, the victories many-- but now I find that keeping my arms raised proves to be too much.
 
 CrossCulture Jesus has grown so much over the past few years- really it is incredible to believe that this ministry with a small (very small) army of workers that now reaches hundreds of children weekly began with just little ol' me and then with faithful Yolanda.

So far, just this year:

we have held a training class for several area churches-

we have hosted 4 mission teams (not to mention those still to come)

we have continued the Little Giants Bible Club 3 times a week reaching over 70 families and more than 125 children.

birthday bags waiting for the birthday celebration

We have had special events, taught Bible based values in a school, visited homes, given out donations of food and clothing, and done so much already that one simple blog could not mention it all.

...and there is more to come...

by this weekend we will have begun perhaps our greatest adventure of all--- a feeding center.

photo taken at a friend's feeding center

AND MY HANDS ARE GETTING TIRED...

I am so thankful to two special groups that are coming in to help hold up my hands for a while.  I am thankful to my sister-in-law's work group from the Mariano Galvez University that is donating the plates and water bottles for the feeding center, plus helping us to secure donations and strengthen weak areas in the program.  I am also thankful for Laverne, a friend from Faith Landmarks Ministries in Virginia, who is coming to observe and lend us her expertise in the area of pre-schoolers.  She and her crew are willing to make several trips to Guatemala to help us grow effectively.

I am thankful.  I know the Lord Jesus Himself has sent these two groups to hold my hands up at this time.

But we need a more permanent solution as well.

This is what I see as I work in my small office at home.

and this...

The ministry has grown.  So have its demands.  My family has grown.  So have its demands.  I am finding it more and more difficult to fit it all in!  Finding time for motherhood (swimming lessons, homework, karate, school projects, pediatrician, dentist, trips to the park, errands, and so on and so forth) and to administrate an ENTIRE GROWING AND SUCCESSFUL MINISTRY.  wow.  words cannot describe the conflict I live at times.

I am reminded of this verse in particular:

"Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent." (Ex. 33:11)

I need a Joshua.  I need an aide that can stay in the tent ministering and administering while I return to camp (home) and take care of things there.  I surely could not mention this need without first of all mentioning Chrissy and Yolanda who are on the front lines teaching the classes every day.  More faithful soldiers you will not find.  However, I also need a ministry administrator to help shoulder the load of paperwork, errands and internal control, allowing CrossCulture Jesus to continue to grow in a healthy, effective manner.

My prayer today is for God to send us a Joshua with a willing heart.  Please pray with us for an administrator to join our staff.  Or if you know of someone who might be interested, have them contact me directly!!!!

www.crossculturejesus.org

And please pass along this blog :)

When I am not enough...

Most days I am confident, optimistic, and full of faith.  But if I take the time to examine myself closely I find that there are doubts and misgivings clinging like cobwebs in the little visited corners of my heart.  Those doubts and misgivings raise their ugly head in the least expected moments.

Moments when I look around and KNOW that I am not enough.

Days when my toddler cries and cries for no reason I can determine.  I hold him, comfort him, and look for a solution all to no avail.  And I know that at that moment I am not enough.

Days when my pre-schooler has so much energy and needs to go outside, yet I am all tied up with supper preparations, household chores, and trying to slip in a ministry phone call or two.  It is then that I know- I am not enough.

When I look around and see piles of unfinished paperwork and compare it to the time I have left on the clock or when I compare my list of errands to the days left on my calendar- there is no doubt- I am not enough.

When my husband walks through the door to find what he hopes is supper simmering on the stove and the children playing peacefully and instead he finds--- well, the children crying, supper burning, and me standing in the middle of it all with sloppy clothes, frazzled hair, and a pleading look on my face for him to recuse me.  It is obvious that I am not enough.

I am not enough to fill every need that my family has.  I am not enough to fill every need that the ministry has.  Although I want to see myself as a supermom, superwife, super ministry director, and superwoman in general- in and of myself- I AM NOT ENOUGH. 

Despite the temptation to bury my head in shame at the thought of ME a supposed pioneer woman of faith having tiny, nagging doubts that I neglect to sweep out... instead I hold my head high and remind myself that I am in good company.  All through the Bible we read about mighty men and women of God who did exploits for the Kingdom being plagued by sin and doubt.

I remember David who was far from perfect, yet was a man after God's own heart and in the ancestry of Jesus.  Rahab, a woman of ill-repute who made many, many mistakes and was also chosen to be listed in Jesus' ancestry.  There was Moses, with his speech problems who didn't even want to face Pharoah alone- even after such a life changing encounter with the living God!  There was Peter who doubted and even denied Christ.  And on and on the list goes.

So as I look around myself today at the unfinished fundraising projects, the piles of paperwork, the unaswered e-mails and as I contemplate what to make for dinner and when to find time to do homework... I am once again struck with the sensation that I, myself, am not enough.  Yet I know that the one who lives within me IS enough.  His grace is sufficient for me.  And I choose to trust in that.

trying to be enough :)

The Rainbow

As a girl I had one of those books that has pictures of silly animal characters on each page.  This type of book has divisions for the head, body, and legs, allowing you to flip the pages and create different combinations of silly characters.  It was fun to flip through.  Sometimes I deliberately made a creation, other times I closed my eyes and flipped the pages to surprise myself with a new and unexpected combination.

So often I look at the ministry that God has given others and I want mine to look that way.  I wish for this part and that part of what the Lord has entrusted to someone else.  I realize that if this ministry were left up to me to add to, take away from, to mimic and copy bits and pieces of other ministries I know... that it would look like one of my silly childhood creations. It is only when I truly follow God's plan for my life and the ministry He has given me that they take the proper shape they should have.

God has a purpose for each of us.  He has a ministry for each of us.  He has divine plans for your life and mine.  And they are all different.  As different as the colors on the rainbow, unique and made up of different wave lengths.  Put together they form a beautiful, breathtaking sight. 

When I purpose in my heart to walk out the path that He has laid for me, I am allowing myself to be a part of something beautiful. 

Even if my life isn't always what I wish it was or what I think it could be- it is beautiful.  It is Holy.  It is set apart.  Because it is ordained by God. 

So today as I reflect on my color of the rainbow in God's scheme of things, I pray especially for contentment.  I pray that I would be content with all that the Lord has placed in my hand and done in and through me instead of looking around and desiring something else.  I pray to be content with afternoons at the park, pediatrician, or dentist.  I pray to be content with more work than time.  I pray to be content with a ministry team of 2 or 3 instead of the 8 or 10 I desire.  I pray to be content to start a feeding center on only Fridays instead of the 3 days I week I would prefer.  I pray to be content as long as I KNOW that I am walking out God's plan for me right now, in this season.  Because season's soon change.  And sometimes I think I feel the breeze of change beginning to blow around me.  And other time's I am not so sure.

In the meanwhile, I pray to be content.

Days of Promise

The fluffy white clouds skipped across the pale blue sky like happy little lambs.  The smell of dirt, sweat, sun, and tortillas mingled together to form the distinct fragrance of Guatemalan small towns that was wafting through the open windows of my car.  It was the kind of afternoon that held promise in its grip.

I was headed to the mission base to receive our first ever donation for the feeding center.  Now THAT was great news indeed.  Due to road construction I had decided to take a detour through a small town called Cuatro Caminos.  My sunroof was cracked, my windows were open, and I was delighting in the beautiful day.

Corban and I arrived at the ministry base in record time where we greeted Chrissy and Kimberly who were preparing for the afternoon class.  The kids soon poured in. They came laughing, running, and holding hands.  All of the children, plus 2 new faces were eager to begin.  

running down the hall to the class

eager to begin!!!!

As always, we had a time of praise, prayer, announcements.  And games!  Kimberly led the children in a game that tied in to the central message.

Pastora Ana, our vibrant Wednesday volunteer, shared the Bible story by BECOMING King Nebuchadnezzar and telling the story of Daniel from the king's point of view.  The children were awestruck and silent (imagine- 30 silent children- now THAT was a miracle!)

And then Alfonso came in with the representative of a company that was donating 6 boxes of rice towards our feeding center.  What a glorious day!!!!!  All of the children's eyes lit up when they saw their beloved Tío Alfonso.  All of our hearts lit up when we saw God's provision made so plain for us.

Chrissy went to work to open the boxes and set everything up for a picture with our generous donor.

We gathered our children close and posed for a picture.  God is so good.  Surely goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives!!!!!

As we cleaned up, Corban wanted to help.  I can always count on Mami's helper!  I do my best to train him up in the way he should go.  ha ha ha

The day ended with God's promises fulfilled.  We had been given the good news that a nutritionist had volunteered to help us evaluate the children.  In fact, his first evaluation is already scheduled!  A group from a local university had visited my home the night before to discuss ways they, too, could help us get a running start.  And the real and present donation of about 600 portions of rice and veggies is sitting outside the kitchen door as proof of God's faithfulness.