Hold Tightly to My Hand

There is probably no excuse for not having written a blog in a while.

For many people this is the way in which they connect with our ministry.  Many people are kept abreast of prayer requests, needs, and testimonies through the blog.

Yet, the past weeks have flown by in a flurry of activity.  We have been preparing for National Children's Day.  We have been scouring the second-hand stores in search of jackets and coats for the children in the program.  We have been updating our data base on the many, many, many families we have in our program.  And on a personal note, I have been running around with sick children, doctor appointments, end of the school year activities, a travelling husband, and so much more.

I have felt burdened with so many aspects of the ministry.  Knowing we need more funds and not knowing where they will come from.  Knowing we need more staff and not knowing who to turn to.  Knowing I have stacks of paperwork falling behind every day and not knowing when I will get to it.  The thoughts and questions swirl in my mind at times, robbing me of peace and causing me to doubt.

Earlier this week I had both boys with me.  We were running errands which required walking about.  With two boys you can imagine, both boys bounded about and bounced along.  Boys never seem to just walk. 

Cohen, my two-year-old, has new shoes.  They are longer than his old ones (which, by the way, had begun to pinch his toes) so he is having trouble adjusting his stride to the length of the new shoe.  By the end of the first hour he had already fallen and scraped his knee, his elbow, and his hands. 

Everytime he ran ahead I would shout warnings to slow down.  I would ask him to come walk by me.  I would try to discourage him from following after his older brother.  All to no avail.

It just didn't seem like any fun at all to walk quietly next to Mami, holding her hand.  Despite scrapted and scratched knees and hands, he hurried on, tripping and falling over his own feet in the process.

The last fall was the worst.  His Little hands just barely had time to catch him or he would have fallen right on his face.

As I comforted him I Heard myself say, "Cohen, dear, please just walk next to me.  If you will hold tightly to my hand I won't let you fall."

But the words came from outside of myself.  It was as if God was speaking to ME at that moment.  Suddenly I was no longer aware of Cohen's tears or Corban's running about.  It was just the Lord and me alone.  He was reminding me to hold tightly to HIS hand.  He won't let me fall.

How often I wish to run ahead.  How often it seems that the pace the Lord is requiring of me is slow and boring.  How often I want a "real adventure".  How often I fail to trust that God's plan at God's pace is just what I need.  It is tempting to compare myself to others who seem to run at  full speed never tripping and falling.  They seem full of joy and laughter, full of energy and enthusiasm... and I feel so clumsy as I trip and fall in an attempt to follow THEM when I really should just follow HIM. 

Hold tightly to my hand and I won't let you fall.

Those words filled my heart with peace.  Those words helped me to walk quietly and obediently next to the one who knows my weaknesses and how to keep me safe from myself.