Blanca's Smile

Blanca is a teenager.  Her waif thin body and dirty hair lead you to believe that she is younger than she is. 

She lives with her family of 5 in a tin shack that they were given rent-free as long as they "look after it".  The tiny shack has a dirt floor.  The beds are filled with fleas.  There is no table, the family eats on the bed or floor.  At times you can see torn and tattered clothing waving on the make-shift clothes line strung across the entrance way. 

Blanca breaks my heart.

Just a couple of weeks ago I was privileged to accompany a group of teens who had one purpose in mind: to visit Blanca and her family and to give them a table and 6 chairs.  And not only that, but a bag of food to provide a meal for this new table.

When we arrived Blanca and her younger sister were alone.  When I explained the purpose of our visit Blanca's dull eyes began to light up.  She shyly looked on as we set up the table and chairs in the only available space under a small roof just outside the door. 

While the youth were setting up the table and chairs I took a moment to talk to Blanca.  I gently reminded her that God has a purpose for her life.  She has a divine destiny in HIM.  I told her that the table, chairs, and food are a gift sent from God Himself because HE LOVES HER and wants to show Himself strong to her.  With a hug I spoke of God's promises for her life and invited her to love and serve God with a whole heart.

We then invited Blanca and her sister to sit at their new table.  They were in awe.

Afterwards we continued to visit other homes.  On the way back to our vans we were waved down by Blanca's parents who had come home again.  The reason for the family's life of shambles and constant hunger was immediately apparant.  Blanca's father was so drunk that he could barely stand straight.  He was hardly coherent as he thanked us generously. 

As we walked away my heart was heavy.  At times I feel as though we are just a drop in the bucket.  Blanca's father drinks away the family's funds and the children pay the Price. 

However, the next week Blanca was back in our Little Giant's group.  It was encouraging to see that her face was brighter.  Her step lighter.  And she smiled more.  Regardless of how insignificant I may feel in the face of such need, the Christ that I share is the answer.  Blanca now carries an assurance of God's love and purpose for her.  It was made real to her by a visit of teenagers and the gift they gave.

Teabag Tamborine

The group of teens from Iowa had left.

My heart was full with things that God was speaking to me and showing me.  I turned on the music in my living room and began to hum along with the worship music.

The words to the music slowly sank deep into my heart and at the same time bubbled right out of it as I made my way to the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea.  Halfway through the tea process I could contain myself no more.  I began to sing, lifting my hands in praise and worshiping the One True God with the only instrument I had on hand--- a box of tea bags! 

The box of tea bags thumped along with the beat of the music, my body swayed in time.  I was lost in my expression of love to the God who gives liberally. 

As I glanced down I saw my two-year-old son who had come to mimic me.  He had his own tea bag tambourine and was thumping away, his voice strong, his words always lagging behind the words of the music. 

And there we were.  Talking to God for so many things that even now I find hard to put into words.

This year has brought so much change, so much growth, so many dreams, and so many opportunities that I find that it is altogether too much.  It is too much for me to comprehend.  It is too much for me to reason.  It is too much for me to handle.  As I try to rationalize it all I find it is all consuming and all together too much. 

Where do we go from here?

If ever you have prayed for this ministry, please do pray  now.

Another school pleading for us to come and teach.  An orphanage asking for our return.  A church begging for a retreat for its children's workers.  Teams wanting to come.  More families to join our programs means more resources needed.  Dreams to enlarge our feeding center.  Hopes to reach out to the youth.  A burning desire to continue reaching the mountain schools. 

All this and more turns circles in my heart, waking me at night and calling me to prayer. 

How can we possibly handle all of this with our limited resources?  We have limited staff.  We have limited funds.  We have limited time.  It seems that we are trying to do an eternal work on a temporaral time scale.  Impossible.

And so as I am faced with all too much on the one hand and oh, so Little on the other I am left with nothing other than falling to my knees and crying out to God to send in abundance the wisdom, strength, staff, finances, supplies, and everything else we need to accomplish the task before us. 

It is a place of total dependence on God because nothing else is enough. 

As the music came to an end Cohen and I both were silent, contemplating the still quiet voice of the Lord as He breathed over us. 

If this year has already been so radical and life changing for me as a person and for us as a ministry- then I cannot even begin to imagine what next year will bring.

 

Quiet Contemplation

I sit here in the quiet of night reflecting on the time we just shared at a church in a village of San José Pinula.  We took a team of youth to minister through song, drama, and sharing the Word.  The prayer time afterwards was powerful.  As the Holy Spirit filled the place I was struck with how God delights in using the most unlikely candidates at times.

I watched the youth minister in song: one on the guitar, one on the keyboard, another on the drums, and a couple of vocals.  I thought how I have no particular talent at all.  I am not very artsy.  I don't even have a charming personality that draws others to me!  I am just Little ol' somewhat boring ME. 

Still, somewhere, one step at a time, I began a long walk down destiny's road.  And I ended up here. 

This afternoon these same youth helped me to open a door into a public school that had been distrustful in times past.  For the first time we were able to go in and with skits, dramas, games, and testimonies share the goodness of God.  Before our visit the school was very hesitant to allow us to enter.  They were afraid that the very Catholic parents would be offended.  With much prayer for favor and grace we were granted permission.  Then the planning began.  How to present the góspel in such a way that it points toward God's forgiveness and mercy while not directly giving an altar call. 

The youth stepped up to the challenge and pulled it off brilliantly.  Now the school is thrilled that we came and has opened its doors for us to have future visits.

This is just one of many schools.

Recently another school sent Word to me begging to be included in our ministry Schedule. 

And schools aren't the only ones pleading.  I also have a list of people who wish to work for us full-time.  These people desire to teach children the Word of God.  They want to share Jesús with the lost.  They want to minister to the needy and downtrodden.  And they want to do it with us. 

And so, likely candidate or not, I find myself once again on my knees before God.  If He has called me to this place then surely He has already supplied all I need to prosper here.  I lay before the throne our great need for more staff and missionaries in order to handle all of the invitations we have to minister.  Also, the additional finances we need to pay more staff members!  I give these needs over to the Lord who has continued to supply everything we need over the years.  If He has called us to be here then He will provide for us. 

All that is left is to trust in Him and see His glory manifested in us and through us.

What Short-term Mission Teams Don´t Know

I fell in love with missions when I was a small child in the Baptist Sunday School listening to stories of missionary heroes.  Especially our very own Lottie Moon from Virginia.

How exotic to give your life to loving and serving God by loving and serving a people halfway across the globe.  How romantic to die of starvation because you chose to feed starving children instead of yourself.  What love.  What dedication.  What true Christianity!

So when my opportunity came to go on a short-term trip at age 16 I didn't let it slip me by.  It was the chance I had been waiting and praying for and now it was upon me.  I spent months preparing myself along with the rest of our team to visit Ensenada, Mexico.  We prepared VBS lessons and crafts and just as diligently we prepared ourselves spiritually.  It was 2 months of focus for 10 days of action. 

Those 10 days were exciting.  We did minor construction on a new church building.  We painted and painted for hours and hours.  We held VBS classes for the local children. We  passed out tracts in the Street.  We bonded as a team and with the members of our host church.  WE HAD MADE A DIFFERENCE.

After that I knew that God had called me to missions. 

Decades later and living full time on the mission field I can tell you one thing: My life is NOT a short-term mission trip. 

The excitement and adventure of those short-term trips has been trumped by the hum drum everydayness of my life now. 

Sure, I live on the mission field and dedícate my life to helping children- even feeding them!  But there is another side of my life that I never considered as a member of a short-term mission team and by comments that short-termers make to me I know that they haven't considered it either.  It is a simple yet profound reality---I HAVE A REAL LIFE. 

I wake up early every day in order to get my family ready for school and work.  Afternoons are filled with homework, soccer, and swimming.  Busy days mean evenings full of hungry boys! 

Regardless of how many mission teams we host, how busy that team is, or how many missionaries are visiting us I still have lunches to pack every day and supper to cook every night. 

My children get sick unexpectedly, we have pediatrician appointments, school activities, birthdays and other events.  My husband sometimes Works late or goes out of town.  Our children have real bedtimes because they have real school the next day.

Regardless of visiting teams or missionaries I still have bills to pay on time and grocery shopping to do.  The ministry has bills that need to be paid and bookkeeping reports that must all be done in a timely manner despite how full a teams itinerary may be. 

When I took my first mission trip my immaturity and lack of experience in life itself led me to believe that every day would be full of adventure, ministering to the lost and hurting, learning new skills, and going to new places.  As life as played out I have come to realize that life is life whether on the mission field or at home in the good ol' U.S. of A. 

So if you are preparing to go on a short term trip any time soon, please keep in mind that not only you and your team are taking personal time to come and share God's love on foreign soil, but your missionary hosts are also taking time out of their already packed schedules in order to host you as pleasantly as possible. 

As a short-termer you may never fully know how much your host missionaries have had to juggle, shuffle, change, and sacrifice in order to accomodate your team, but you can rest assured that once your team is gone they will stay behind and fall back into the rythm and routine that the mission field really entails.

My life apart from mission teams

P.S.  I understand that not all missionaries lead the same lifestyle that my family and I do.  Many missionaries live in very remote áreas.  Oftentimes the missionary families opt for homeschooling. And some missionaries probably do lead a more adventurous life tan I do.  However, I also have a list of missionary friends a mile long that live very similarly to myself.

My Old Table

The bustle around our supper table comes to a close and the children get up leaving a mess of crumbs and sticky fingerprints in their wake.  I look at this old wooden table and remember fondly the feelings of bliss and happines when I took the $100 that my dad sent to his young, adventurous, and poor daughter who had left for Guatemala with big dreams in her heart and no money in her pockets and spent it on a hand-made wooden table. 

And I am faced with a choice.

I can remember how the chairs wobbled and shook when we sat down to eat.  I can glance with contempt at the two chairs against the Wall in which no one will ever sit again- IF they value their behinds and don't wish to fall flat onto the floor!  I can moan inwardly as my washcloth brushes over stains and cracks along the table surface.  I can recall how crowded and crunched 5 or 6 of us have felt around this table when we have guests.

OR

I can see that this table is so much more than just a table.  It is the promise of better things to come.  This table represents all the parts of my life that aren't as I choose them to be, yet I know are only temporary.   The way in which I care for this table and other areas of my life shows the state of my heart.  If I can't care for what I have with a sense of Pride and excellence, why would God entrust something more to me?  And so as I make a choice to lovingly care for the things God has given me I realize that I am caring not only for my present but also for my future.  I am practicing for things that will come.

Thus, the nightly cleaning ritual has become a spiritual exercise for me; a time to reflect on all the áreas of my life that are serving as a practice ground as I wait in anticipation of something better to come.  And that, my friends, is a lesson much more dear to me than the $100 invested in this old table of mine.

 

A Very Happy Birthday

Cohen playing with balloons

Last Week we celebrated the birthday of our Little Giants.

The Impact Team arrived bright and early to decorate the room with bright colors, balloons, and to post around the room the memory verses and class themes from the weeks prior.

The birthday celebration consists of review games.  In this way the children have fun without even realizing that they are reviewing the content of early classes and cementing those truths even more into their hearts. 

As the children enjoyed celebrating birthdays I was celebrating something even greater:  God's faithfulness and the generosity of so many.

Franklin ready to give a prize for good behaviour

First of all, the bags we hand out full of goodies are made posible by some very special people back in Virginia.  I think they will only know the impact of their kindness when they get to heaven because words themselves would never do justice.

the birthday bags full of goodies

All the goodies that go into the bags are also the result of the generosity of so many.  The shampoo, soap, toothpaste and toothbrush that we often take for granted are a rare treasure to these children. Just this morning one of our mothers thanked me profusely for the gift her daughter recieved saying it came at the perfect moment- a time when the family can't afford these "luxuries".  She tells me that her daughter was so excited upon opening her bag.  I asked her what the girl's favorite ítem was fully expecing it to be the toy--- she tells me that the girl was thrilled to recieve shampoo and asked to take a bath right away.  imagine. 

Franklin ready to play Happy Birthday

For the past several years we had a donor who provided cakes a goodies for every birthday celebration.  For this we were immensely grateful.  However, this year the donor could not continue. 

My heart was bursting with the generosity of my staff who decided to foot the bill themselves for the birthday party.  This spoke volumes to me about the kind of people we have on staff this year and I know that God Himself will reward them for their generosity.

Still, God had something else in mind.  Recently an aquaintence from the church we attend in Guatemala felt led to contact us.  She came to visit our ministry and felt compeled by the Lord to provide cakes for the birthday celebrations without even knowing our need for such a thing.

Families can't afford to celebrate birthdays.  A brithday cake is a rare treat indeed!!!!!
 

So as all around me the children laughed and shouted, celebrating one more year of life.  My heart was laughing and shouting, celebrating one more year of God's faithfulness. 

Thank you to everyone who has obeyed the voice of the Lord to give to the Little Giants on their birthdays!

The cake, the kids, and our new donor!

My Turn to Help

I remember when my life changed dramatically with the birth of our first son. 

I had never envisioned motherhood to be so chaotic!  All my dreams of gently rocking my Little one while Reading nursery rhymes or visions of my family sitting happily around the dinner table and the delicious meal I had lovingly served up somehow never even came close to becoming a reality.

I never fathomed the amount of mess one small child can make!  Or the amount of work....

I can remember going through the day picking up spill after spill, thinking up game after game for entertainment, burned dinners (or no dinners), late nights and early mornings... and beginning to countdown from the time Corban woke up from his nap at 2:30 to the arrival of my husband and HELP. 

At 5pm I called to see if he had left work.  At 5:15 I called to see how traffic was.  At 5:30 I wanted reassurance that he was indeed headed my way--- and if he wasn't in our garage at 6pm Sharp it warrented another call.  My ever patient husband never complained. 

Then suddenly the oldest was 3 and we had a newborn and the chaos didn't doublé- but rather multiplied!  With a colicky baby who cried all through the night and an energetic pre-schooler who bounced and bubbled all through the day I was once again counting down to 6pm... only this time around the countdown began at about noon.

There were days when I shed tears of joy upon seeing my husband walk through the door.  And when he was home (because several nights a week he wasn't) there was someone to help encourage the pre-schooler to eat while I nursed the baby, someone to help with the baths, someone to help with the bedtime routine.

SOMEONE TO HELP. 

But in Genesis I am told that God made Eve to help Adam.  It seems to me that I have spent a good part of my married life waiting for help to arrive.  At some point I forgot that I was actually called to help. 

So as I examined my life recently I realized that it is time to stop focusing inward and turn my focus outward.  I realized that it is my turn to help.

I began to pray in earnest about ways that I can be my husband's helper.  I began to look for opportunities to help him acheive his goals and arrive at his dreams instead of counting down for him to help me with mine. 

God is answering my prayer.

The company where my husband Works has just asked him to take over another department which will be a challenge for him.  I am so proud of my husband who never backs down from a challenge and does everything to the very best of his ability.  But this new position means a huge sacrifice for our family.  At least for a while he will most likely be coming home late, maybe several days a week long after the children are in bed.  He will likely have more work on the weekends meaning less time for us.

And so now as I contemplate what the very near future holds for us I know that I cannot countdown for help to arrive.  I am going to be facing long evenings with the kids alone.   I am going to be entertaining the children alone on Saturday afternoons to keep them away from Papi and his computer.  It is my turn to help by doing it cheerfully and making sure that my kids know that Papi is working hard because he loves us. 

It is my turn to help.  And as I am in the middle of misión teams, ministry obligations and plenty of work of my own I pray for grace to enable me to be the helper I am called to be.