Big Adventures, Small World: The Right Choice

Corban excited to be dressed as a bird

On Friday I sat in a small auditorium waiting anxiously for the curtains to part. My insides were all a flutter with excitement, nostalgia, and other unidentified feelings. Today was my 5-year-old's pre-school closing ceremony.

The years have flown by too quickly. In January it is off to Kindergarten and a whole new world.

I remember when I found out we were expecting our first child. Besides being excited I was also overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at the thought of trying to fit motherhood into an already over-packed schedule. Overwhelmed at the thought of such responsibility. Overwhelmed at trying to hold down a full-time job and raise a child- all with no childcare. It was daunting to think of running around with mission teams, keeping up with (at the time) four outreaches a week, keep all the accounting and admin up to date, do all the fundraising, and DO IT ALL with a baby in tow.

I remember praying for guidance. I remember seeking the counsel of many people in ministry that I admire. What should I do? How could I do it all? The firm conviction that CrossCulture Jesus / Brazos Abiertos should continue to reach out to the community seemed to clash with the firm conviction that I should be the primary caregiver of our children and not a daycare center. What was the right answer.

After much prayer and counsel it was decided. I would pray for the Lord to bring the right people at the right time to Brazos Abiertos. A team of people who had a heart for the ministry, a heart for the families, who were honest, integrable, and hard working.

So my husband and I started praying.

Through the years some workers came and others went but Yolanda, Alfonso, and Chrissy were the steady three that the LORD brought to see us through a season. Yolanda, Alfonso, and Chrissy gave their all and more. I was so blessed to have such a team working with me that served the Lord in such a way that the ministry grew and prospered even during my times of semi-absence and working from home. The Lord also brought Mirian to us - a sweet woman who helps with childcare part-time making those times I was needed on-site all the easier.

There were many times I struggled with the decision we made. Others have been on the front lines, one on one with the children and their families while I have been somewhat in the background dedicating myself to the administrative side. Even so, there has always been more work than time and there were definitely times when I wondered if making my children my priority would cause the ministry to suffer.

But as I sat in the auditorium on Friday watching my enthusiastic boy perform his best, I knew deep in my heart that I had made the right choice.

I can see how God has honored the choice I made. CCJ has not suffered, in fact, it has grown as a result of the team members God Himself placed there. My family has not suffered, in fact, they have blossomed and grown.

Childhood passes all too quickly. I truly thank God for bringing the right people at the right time to CCJ allowing me to be able to be a very present mother to Corban. I pray for patience to wait out the end of this season as I still have a few more years before Cohen is in kindergarten. And although this year brought the end to my stable three (Alfonso and Chrissy moving on) I trust that the Lord is already moving to bring on board others with the same heart.