To be an MK or not to be...

For those of you who read this blog to be able to pray for us and this ministry- I solicit your prayers.  In less than a week we head once again to my native soil of Virginia.  Although part of me yearns for these trips, another part of me dreads these trips.

A while back a Virginia friend and I were chatting about Missionary Kids (MK's) and other such stuff when she laughed and said, "Your kids aren't missionaries you know, they just live there.  Guatemala is their home, not their mission field!"  My friend is very wise and very good at saying just the right thing.  She always has been.  Even so, I had to think about her words for quite a while before they made much sense to me.  I didn't leave my home and family to come sight seeing for crying out loud!

She is right though.  To my children Guatemala is their home, their nationality, and all they have ever known.

My children thrive on routine.  They wake up roughly at the same time EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK (weekends included- how many know what I mean?), Corban gets ready for school, eats breakfast and chats to the nanny in Spanish while waiting for the bus.  Cohen has a late breakfast, gets out of his pj's, then has the whole morning to be the center of attention (either mine or the nanny's).  They know that dinner time means that Papi is coming home.  They know that after dinner they have time to play with Papi before bedtime.  They go to bed early, and at the same time every single night.

A trip to Virginia means that suddenly their orderly world has entered into chaos.  We sleep in strange beds and have no personal space.  We are all in the same room, they have no toys, no privacy, no routine.  They have gone from a quiet home and small family to being in the middle of other people's homes, larger families, more noise, more activity.  They go from early bedtimes to different bedtimes every day.

Corban and Cohen go through culture shock as they are suddenly surrounded by English.  If you have ever traveled abroad you know how disarming it can be to be surrounded by a different tongue.  Our diet is drastically changed.  All the foods familiar to my boys are gone and in their place is the too rich American diet.  Things are done differently, modern technology confuses us all, distances between places are farther, and the list of changes goes on.

Instead of settling in somewhere in order to establish a new routine often times we are moving around.  This causes sleep problems for the boys.  Add to that a full schedule and busy days and we are all quickly over tired and short on patience.


Don't forget the viruses.  New germs that we haven't been exposed to.  New foods to cause upset tummies. 

Perhaps the most difficult part is that our stable family is broken up as my husband usually returns to Guatemala after a week or so, splitting our family.  The boys miss him.  I do too.

When we visit a church in Virginia usually I am the guest speaker and usually my husband has already returned to Guatemala.  So the boys are whisked away to classes full of strangers and instead of being able to cling to Mami for a bit of security in the midst of all this newness Mami is super busy.  This causes tension.  They feel it and I feel it.

And so, I see the point my friend was making.  To my children Guatemala is security with a nice comfortable routine.  School, church, small family, stability, familiarity.  Guatemala is home.  Virginia is the foreign unknown.

If you are reading this, then pray for us.  As we prepare our hearts to minister in various church settings pray for God's anointing on the whole family.  Pray for peace.  Pray for children who will adjust quickly to the change.  Pray for lots of sleep.  Pray for our safety as we travel overseas and then travel around Virginia.  Pray for the grace of God to abound towards us.  Pray however the Lord leads you.

Cohen gnawing on a tortilla like any good Guatemalan baby

Humbled and Awed

Several weeks I go I sent out a simple page expressing an urgent need- supplies and support for the ABA Feeding Center.

Yesterday I sat at my computer in my tiny office at the bottom of the stairs and read the report of contributions received during the month of May.  I WAS HUMBLED AND AWED.  The support that came in during this month has more than met the immediate needs of supplies and some have even begun to offer monthly sponsorship for a child.

Unable to continue reading as the tears blurred my vision, instead I slipped to my knees, knelt at my desk, and began to pray.  I prayed for the Lord to bless all of those who gave so generously.  I prayed for the Lord to meet every need they have as they have so generously met our need.  I prayed for the Lord to give me wisdom and guidance to use this money wisely, as a good steward.  After all, I am just a steward, the money is the Lord's.  I prayed for the Lord to search my heart and know my ways and to correct anything that might be wrong so that I would not let down any of those who support us monthly or occasionally- those who trust me and trust this ministry to bear fruit for the Kingdom. 

For a moment I just sat there and felt the great weight of responsibility that I always feel when I pray for our sponsors.  I am responsible to them to use these resources wisely, in the best possible way to reach this town for Jesus. It is not a responsibility that I take lightly

In the book of John chapter 6 I recently read the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000.  As I sat there before the Lord, my heart worshiping the God who has once again met our need through the generosity of friends, I felt the Lord talking to me about this passage.

You see, Jesus turned to Philip who was from the region to ask where they could buy bread for so many people.  Philip quickly answers that 200 denarii isn't enough money.  Isn't enough?  No, it probably wasn't- but it was no small figure either as it totaled about 8 months wage for an average worker.  Do YOU have 8 months wage in your wallet?  Then a boy comes with 5 barley loaves and 2 small fish.  There is a hidden message here.  Barely was a poor man's bread.  The rich ate wheat bread.

So, the poor boy looked at the need, then at his source (God) and determined that his re-source was enough...even though it was meager.  The man with more resources (8 months wages if you recall) forgot to look at his source and quickly determined that his resources did not meet the need.

I think if I had been there that day I would have put more stock in feeding the multitude with 8 months wages than with a poor boy's lunch.  But God didn't use man's wisdom.  He used the unexpected to meet the need.

And He has done it again.  God has faithfully provided by using the unexpected - those from whom I have not heard in a while, those that I am quick to judge as "giving enough already", and those for whom I know it is a struggle to send an offering.  God touched each of their hearts, they looked to Him as their source, and they obeyed.

Just as the poor boy was a crucial element in feeding the 5,000 I know that those who are standing with me at this hour are also crucial to the feeding of multitudes.  They are part of this miracle that is taking place in San José Pinula.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING WHETHER OUT OF YOUR ABUNDANCE OR YOUR POOR BOY'S LUNCH - THANK YOU.

If you, too, want to be a part of this check out our website for details:
www.crossculturejesus.org

The City Street

There is a certain place in Guatemala City that makes me cringe.  This particular street is heavily traversed- although I suppose that could describe any street in this over-trafficked city.  However, on this particular portion of this particular street something occurs which boggles my mind as a "gringa"- the dividing lines on the street merge, disappear, and reappear, painted, faded, and painted again in such a fashion that I can never tell which of the lines I am supposed to obey and which ones are simply left over from times past!  The cars in front of me swerve and weave in and out of one another in an indistinct pattern, leaving me no clue as to which of the cars is actually obeying the law and which of the cars is simply driving Guatemalan style. 

As I cautiously pick my way along a lane which suddenly disappears or worse- suddenly becomes the on-coming lane I can feel my heart race.  Surely this section of the street is only confidently driven on by people such as my husband who have been around long enough to KNOW which of the painted lines are the most recent and which ones are simply to be ignored.  My husband has driven along this route so often that he detects any change immediately and knows which way the lanes run - or run out- by reflex.  To me- it is utter mayhem!

But as I gather my courage and drive through this section, holding my breath and praying for divine protection, I realize something.  Oftentimes we go along in life just like this.  We go along hoping we are in the right lane, but not really being sure.  We try to follow the guy in front of us supposing maybe he has it right, but not very sure of that either.  The lines of sin and right vs. wrong are smudged and faded, we are no longer sure if we are in God's will or just making it up as we go along. 

And I think of how the Bible offers that dividing line.  Without God's Word to show us the way, our daily life is a struggle and a series of guesses.  But with God's word we can clearly see the direction we need to take and the decisions we need to make.  God's Word keeps us on course. 

I notice how in my life if I neglect my Bible leaving it sitting on the coffee table far too long suddenly I am not as quick to discern when I have taken a false step.  I bumble along often times hurting those I love with the mistakes I make, the attitudes I have or the lack of love and patience I display.  I find myself unsure how to respond when crisis comes, or even when a simple problem presents itself. 

There is truly nothing like God's work to keep us going along the right track with the right attitudes and making right choices.  The Psalmist said, "I will hide they word in my heart that I might not sin against thee". 

So today as I reflect on a recent encounter with THAT section of Guatemala City I also reflect on my constant need to be in God's Word.  I repent for the times I have neglected it and I make a conscious decision to read my Bible and pray more diligently.  I encourage you to do the same.  It will change your life.  Just watch and see. 

my faithful friend

Mother's Day in San José

Mother's Day is a celebrated event world wide.  And why shouldn't it be?  Every day mother's all over the planet make sacrifices for the good of their children.  We give up our own hobbies so that we can take them to theirs.  We give up our own t.v. channels in favor of Mickey Mouse.  Despite the fashion divas we may have been we suddenly find our fashion budget spent on miniature outfits and our own closets full of last year's (or the year before's) clearance items.  Sleep and comfort become a thing of the past as we comfort sick and distressed children well into the night and in the early morning hours.  We strip off sweaters and suffer a chill so that our precious ones can wrap themselves instead.  The last piece of cake, the last of the icecream, food off of our own plate is directed into the mouths of our beloved tykes to whom we would deny nothing. 

As we live a life of continual sacrifice and continual giving we find that we are transformed more into Jesus every day.  He was the one who exemplified sacrificial living, giving up all His glory to come down to us.  He took on our sickness and gave us health.  He took on our curse and gave us blessing.  He took on our sin and gave us eternal life.  He sacrificed Himself even to the cross all out of love for us.  When I look to Jesus as my example to follow I find that even when I think I have given everything I can it still doesn't compare.  It makes giving up a few hours of sleep or slaving over a hot dinner seem very, very insignificant in comparison.  Still, it is what I have to give.  This is the example of giving and sacrifice that I can be for my children to show them a little bit of Jesus in our home.

On Saturday we celebrated 57 women whose daily sacrifices far outweigh mine.  These women are more the example of Christ than they realize.  Single mothers who slave over a hot fire making hundreds upon hundreds of tortillas all day long for just a few dollars a day.  A widow with 6 children who knits trinkets, purses and industrial wipes for less than many Americans spend at McDonald's.  Women who even in torrential rains walk their children miles to and from school to make sure they get an education.  Women who grow their own corn, then grind it and cook it into tortillas, tamales, and other Guatemalan meals.  Women who have suffered heart ache, abuse, and humiliation yet still strive to do the very best they can for their children.  These are the mothers of our Little Giants and the women we honored on Saturday last. 

The busy day started early even though the women were expected to arrive at 2pm.  Chrissy and Alfonso (who still helps when he can, bless his heart) were setting up the sound system in the restaurant before noon.  The rest of us gathered at the ABA base before noon for a quick lunch and to pack the car with all our supplies.  Earlier in the week the ladies had been busy making chocolate covered marshmallow butterflies to put at each place setting.  I am constantly amazed at the creativity on our team. 

After we arrived at the restaurant we got busy setting up the tables and putting up decorations.  Hats off to Chrissy who directed the whole event.  It was amazingly organized and very well planned.  She spent a great deal of time placing the centerpieces just right and the results were stunning.  (by the way, Chrissy and Yoli came up with the centerpiece idea and made them as well).

Our theme was the Transforming Power of God.  Which was depicted by using caterpillars and butterflies in all of the decoration.

 As always, we had a time of worship followed by a time of games.  Yoli and Chrissy directed the choreographed worship and Kimberly helped them with the games.

Our guest speaker was a friend of Chrissy's.  She did an amazing job sharing how Jesus had transformed her life and her family and encouraging the ladies to lay it all down at the cross and trust in the Lord to transform their homes as well.  When she invited all those who desired salvation and transformation to come forward the results were astounding- especially considering the highly catholic atmosphere in San José Pinula has made "going forward" a bit taboo.  Truly it was the work of the Holy Spirit and years of sowing the Word into these families.  I know some of the women who went forward were already saved.  In fact, they are active in their home churches, but knowing that they went forward for a touch from the Lord encouraged me that these women need more ministry and more encouragement.  May we be the vessel He uses!!

As always, some women were to shy to go forward.  They prayed in their seats.  Considering the women who went forward and those who prayed in their seats about 95% of the women received ministry that afternoon.  

 

 

Notice the mother with her baby in a sling- a common sight around here

It was an uplifting event.  Every year it grows larger.  Every year we see salvations take place.  Surely our annual Mother's Day event is one that should continue. 

A HUGE THANKS GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU WHO GAVE FINANCES TO SEE THIS EVENT TAKE PLACE.  A HUGE THANKS TO THOSE WHO SENT GIFTS TO THE WOMEN.  AND A HUGE THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU WHO PRAYED FOR THE SUCCESS OF SATURDAY'S EVENT. 

We couldn't do this without you.  You are a part of changing these women's lives.  God bless you!!!!!!!

The Next Chapter

When Alfonso left us, for a while it seemed as though he had left a hole that would be impossible to fill.  I have learned that each person is unique with their own gifts, callings, talents and strengths.  I have seen how each team member brings something new and special to our team- a something we wondered how we ever did without before!  Alfonso's something special had been with us so long that we couldn't even remember "before" and certainly couldn't imagine an "after".

However, he has been gone a month and a half now and in that time we have seen God do a work in each of us and in our team as a whole.

First, Yolanda, Chrissy, and I were forced to take on responsibilities that we had not had to worry with in the past.  Adding these challenges to our to-do list helped us to stretch, grow, and do things we didn't know we could do.  This was good.

Next, the Lord brought to our team a super young lady named Kimberly.  Kimberly has gifts and talents all her own.  Right now she is in the process of merging her talents with ours and we are seeing great things happen because of it.  This is good.

The most intriguing aspect of Kimberly's story is this...

When Alfonso came to us he was only a shadow of the person he grew to be.  Francisco and I feel as though the Lord has called and equipped us to train up others.  We saw this explicitly in Alfonso's life.  He was hesitant to step out of his comfort zone and take on responsibilities.  He had a volatile temper.  He was a bit of a class clown, not taking life or work very seriously.  But God had called him to more.  Under our tutelage (not that we take the credit for the work that God did) Alfonso grew to be an amazing leader who made solid decisions.  So much so that he is now in a position of much responsibility.

Wow.  We sowed and sowed into Alfonso's life.... and now someone else was reaping the benefit.  But so be it.  That is the way it is in the Kingdom of God.  We knew that Alfonso's season with us had its purpose and this new season had a purpose as well.

So, when Kimberly came along I thought how appropriate.  Kimberly and I have a history.  I began sowing into Kimberly's life when she was just 11 years old.  She is a former student of mine from a program in La Limonada, a marginal area of Guatemala City.  For 4.5 years I sowed into Kimberly's life daily, forming character, helping her and others to be the best they could be and all that God called them to be.  Now, 12 years later, she is married, has a baby girl and has almost finished college.  Often times we never see the results of what we have invested in others but this time I am privileged to be able to.

It is like a circle.  And I am glad to be a part of both the sending and receiving, the sowing and the reaping.  

So, we welcome Kimberly to our team.  We welcome her talents, her gifts, her callings and her something special.  We welcome this new chapter in Brazos Abiertos.

Brazos Abiertos Outreach Team from left to right: Kimberly, Chrissy, Yolanda, Sarah

When Worlds Collide

I sat gripping the warm coffee mug firmly in my hands as if it were a lifeline in a desperate attempt to clear my foggy brain.  The morning was not yet awake, nor anyone in my house, and this time of day when I usually relish my time alone with the Lord was more of a torture this morning as I willed my exhausted body and mind into action.

I was nearly through with a two weeks of back to back visiting mission teams.  If you have read my earlier blogs you will know that I love mission teams.  I am in my element during both the planning and execution of such a visit.  Yet even my favorite part of ministry is, at times, at odds with my "other world".

Since my eyes were too blurry to read my Bible I began to think back over the struggles, trials, and victories of the past days.  I chuckled as I remembered the night that I got to bed late finishing up spread sheets and budgets for the next team only to awaken once to comfort a teething toddler, then later to rush in a pick-up a pre-schooler from the floor where he had fallen out of bed, and then been up for the day when the toddler woke up up again at 5am to start his day.  Regardless of the lack of sleep I had a full day of ministry to fulfill.  I recalled  how many times during the past week and a half I had been gone all day and returned in the late evening with two tired boys and dinner still to cook.  I shook my head in dismay as I remembered the times I was tempted to pour bowls of cereal for supper!  But my husband who also worked hard all day wouldn't have appreciated that very much.

...and the afternoon when I was told the presence of God was strong and the children were deeply moved and ministered too- but I missed it because we had cupcakes to prepare for a school party and homework to do. 

...Night after night of waking up with Cohen whose molars were bothering him followed by day after day of trying to accomplish more than humanly possible.  Dragging the children to banking errands, ministry sites, and other related places and still hoping they would have super human strength and not be tired and cranky by the end of the day.  Daily going over the pre-school calendar to keep up with projects and special events, and still forgetting some of them anyway! 

It had been 10 days of holding down 2 full-time jobs... and not always successfully!  It had been 10 days of joys, disappointments, struggles, victories, trials, tests of patience, and faith in God.  It had been a time to see the best of me and the worst of me.  A time for my strengths to shine and sometimes for my weaknesses to be embarrassingly exposed.  It had been 10 days when I wondered why my family still needed so much of me when I obviously had my hands full with other things...and at the same time wondered why ministry was so demanding when my family obviously still needed to eat, sleep, and do well at school/work.

...and I still had a few more days to go!

So, in those last few minutes before my little crew began to stir I sat aside my coffee cup which had now grown lukewarm and I  began to pray.  I prayed for renewed strength, patience, understanding with my kids (we were all worn to a frazzle), and good attitudes all around!  As the early light of the sun began to peek through the clouds I remembered that His mercy is new every morning!  His mercy for my life was new at that very moment.  I began my day rejoicing in God's abundant mercy poured out to me and reveled in His grace for my life.  Because even though there are times when my 2 worlds collide and I feel weak and unable to meet the challenge I know that His grace is sufficient for me.  He has called me at this time to this place to fulfill this purpose, and God himself is preparing me to meet that challenge.

I am sure many of you reading this can relate.  Not only missionaries face this struggle.  Many mothers feel torn between the many roles they play and the needs that pull on their time and energy.  May we all pray for one another and encourage each other in the Lord.  His grace is sufficient.  He is the source of all that we need.  When we feel the situation is too great for us, let us remember that it is not too great for Him.

Worlds Apart

brotherly fun, playing with water

As I sat in the shade and watched the tops of the tall pines sway and dance in the breeze I felt contentment wash over me like a warm bath.  My two boys were utterly enjoying the park that afternoon.  I sighed as work and ministry felt worlds apart, the chaos left behind for this moment in time as I immersed myself totally in motherhood.

boys and dirt

Some of my favorite moments of the day are spent with my little ones.  I relish lunchtime chats with my four-year-old.  His perspective on life is so fresh and new.  He finds joy in small things.  As he talks about his morning and laughs at silly jokes I find myself so thankful that my schedule allows me to spend lunch nearly every day with my little guy.  Watching my toddler discover something new, something I often take for granted (like belly buttons!) is fascinating.  It is easy to get lost in this world and totally forget that the other exists.

Yet as I sit here at my desk this morning I see beside me a spiral block of notes with a list a mile long of things I need to accomplish (preferably today).  Calling an interpreter to set up dates for a mission team, calling the bus driver, update the website (oh, well, I haven't gotten to that for 3 years, I am sure it can wait), update spreadsheets for the book keeper, fill out a 10 page form that the U.S. government wants for CCJ, file receipts for the accountant here in Guatemala, write thank-you notes, nail down details of mother's day event, make bank deposits, add names to the mailing list, a dozen more phone calls, and the list goes on and on....

Sitting here in the middle of a stack of paperwork it is oh, so easy to forget that my little bubble of motherhood exists!   I can feel the adrenaline begin to surge again.  My missionary side begins to yawn and stretch, waking up and taking over.  I remember something I saw in my Bible reading and I want to jot it down to share at a team meeting.  I begin to think about churches I will visit and what I will share on our next trip to the States.  It is all so exciting.  I love the ministry.  I love missions.  I love helping others, sharing the gospel, planting seeds of hope and eternity.

My two worlds, my two realities... at times they coexist in harmony and at times they seem at war with each other... tune in again to see what happens when two worlds collide!

a whole different world